it’s tiring when there’s so much going on, and I want a friend who will just listen to me rant all the way without making me feel like s/he is not really listening or s/he has to carry my problems or s/he is also involved in the problem.

it’s tiring having to see sad and stressed faces everyday. having to feel bogged down too by all these upsetting thoughts too.

it’s terribly depressing having to think about what to do next, and what’s due when. and it’s even more depressing having to think about how to solve problems that shouldn’t be there in the first place.

it’s even worse when the people you thought you’d integrated yourself into go off on their own and you’re left behind in the dust, thinking you’d be fine on your own. 

it hurts and it pains.

it makes me feel like crying.

and the worst part of it all? it’s not like the family back at home makes me feel any better.

it stabs me right in the heart to hear the sobbing in the middle of the night, to hear her complaining about how we’re such disappointments, to interact yet not connect with the people ‘closest’ to you.

it downright sucks when you start thinking the world’s left you behind and there’s no one there to catch you when you fall and offer a shoulder to lean on when you’re tired and need a rest. when no one even bothers to turn around and ask if you’re okay.

but that’s life. just gotta live with and through it.

Labels: regular