when O’s ended, and when I picked wherever I wanted to go, I wasn’t expecting all this coming.

what I expected was for my relatives and mother, for that fact, to just show a little more interest and care in whatever I was going to do in the next chapters of my life.

well, how wrong I was. the baby that came along is just driving me up the wall at this point of time. 

the least I wanted was just for people to inquire a little more about what I’ve been doing at school, how’s my life going so far. apparently people just decide to skip me, and move on to those older or those younger than me. how great is that?

is it a fucking sin for a girl to just crave a little attention from her family?

apparently, it is. oh well, maybe that’s just me.

I’ve apparently even become invisible to my mother and my grandmother, in my own fucking home.

not that I haven’t been invisible all the while. I probably have been invisible, since it’s the “grown-fucking-up” world all around and 17 is probably tiny as compared to the thousands of years the adults have been living in, so it’s understandable how they can just forget a living breathing teenager standing right in front of them.

when 2010 started, I was expecting something of a more satisfying life where relatives and family members would stop and take a second look at me. it’s just really strange that not only do they NOT look at me at all, they only look at her and go, “WOOOOW, SO CLEVER! WHAT A CLEVER LITTLE GIRL!”.

okay look, like, fuck man. you look at another person’s child and say, “OH WHAT A CLEVER GIRL!” to her whereas you look at your own child and cry and say, “oh what a disappointment.”

seriously, I don’t know which hurts more.

Labels: regular