because really, encouragement can only get you so far. everything else just relies so much on yourself.

so I didn’t get the best results ever [possibly even the lowest form, from what I can gather at the moment], but at least I’m semi-satisfied with it. I can always work harder. and I definitely am going to work harder. much much harder.

if I can’t get that university application through at the end of these 3 years, I’m going to have to gut myself. and that’s not what I want.

at the end of the day, encouragement plays a part, but it’s self-encouragement that’s most important. self motivation.

that’s right.

and then of course, it hurts mighty when things backfire.

fuck, it’s weird how I’m the one that’s hurting. maybe I asked for it by asking. I shouldn’t have.

I should’ve known what to expect. I shouldn’t have asked. it was stupid to have asked.

urgh, 2 bad mornings in a row. I pray the next morning will break this chain.

Labels: regular