this is getting annoying. 

my head is not anywhere these days. I’m at home, but my heart’s with someone else and my brain’s left at school. and I don’t know what to do about it all. I’m up to my neck, or rather, I feel like I’m up to my neck with all the work that I’ve to do, and all I wanna do is take a break without my mum breathing down my neck about unpacking the stuff from the renovation. 

everything about the renovation’s done already, and don’t get me wrong, I’m really really happy and thankful for that. I’m glad my house has a new look and all. I really am. 

but then now that it has a new look and all, my parents just won’t stop working. 

Mum’s staying at home and unpacking all day and cooking in the evening and watching her tv shows in between. Dad sends me to school in the morning and goes to work till evening and gets home and eats dinner and then joins Mum in unpacking. 

I really hate to see them unpacking all the time. if they aren’t unpacking then they’re mopping the floors and cleaning table tops. it doesn’t just irks me because they’re doing that and I’ve to get up and move away from where I am so they can do what they need to do. it just so fucking hurts because whenever I offer to help them, they just decline my help and send me back to doing my work. and then they get all pissed and Mum’s all bitchy and asking why I’m not doing anything to help. 

argh. why can’t they just go on a vacation or something and just leave me alone for a while. they need it, and I need it too. 

my head’s spinning all the time and I’ve trouble keeping me me. every single thing pushes me to the edge lately and different parts of me are thinking different things and when I come home, I’ve to stay up later than usual 11PM to do more work. 

I need a little sunshine in my life, really. 

praying to God for strength through this period. praying for strength to continue on. praying for strength to push through this time without sunshine. 

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