I admit, I have been a really horrible person lately.

emo-ing all the time in class, posting horrible tweets on twitter that make my friends worry about me, posting horrible stuff here and making readers feel uncomfortable or whatever, the weird rantings and then the talks over MSN, and also the tears.

really, I apologize for all that. I really do.

I guess sometimes, when everything gets too much all of a sudden, I feel like I don't know where to go and I end up using these outlets to get everything out of my head for a while.

things are getting tougher and tougher each day, and I'm starting to worry, I guess. thoughts get really scary at night, and it doesn't help that they attack when I'm at home, where it is the place I love and fear at the same time. don't get me wrong, I know that home's always the place to be because it's my home and it's where the heart is and blahblahblah, but really, I feel so much tension, I'm afraid of what I become.

I'm beginning to even love school, the people I hang out with most, and the things I do at school even more than I ever have. the listed have really touched me more than ever over the past few days which have been tough for me. I cannot even begin to express my gratitude.

I was seriously touched by how, even though I've just gotten to know some them, that I've spoken barely a hundred words to them, and yet, they are the ones comforting and showing concern towards me after reading all my emo crap. I would never have found all these back in the old days. nobody seemed to care then.

it's not just them though, the past few days brought me back and showed me who was there and who cared right from the start, and I am thoroughly thankful for them. I would probably have burst if I had not shared as I did roughly 2 nights ago. (:

hence, I will keep smiling, & at the same time, make others smile along with me. (: 

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