the day started in frustration as I overslept, got to school way too early, and wasted time laughing and bumming around while waiting for the rest to arrive. had a tough time in group project discussion with nothing ever being settled and us always going pointless rounds before coming back to and settling for the original ideas.

I got too high in the first tutorial, and totally screwed myself up in the second. more group projects meeting further melted my brain, and then the grenade was thrown.

huge amount of control needed as I told myself to keep calm and not do anything drastic.

first the ignorance, then sudden, being thrown into confusion and severely off track. didn't even complete my goal for today, faced a whole load of difficulty and noise and nothing else but a strained throat and tired eyes. not to forget, hunger pangs too.

found out the hard way... how quickly people disappear.

I guess I knew it all along in my head: nobody can be there for you forever and always, as and when you need them; sometimes you just gotta go through it alone.

haha, stupid of me to ignore that fact till only recently. experienced something small while waiting to go home today: I was asked a question, just a simple question that made me day for just a second. I didn't answer it immediately, but instead asked someone else another question. when I turned to answer the question directed at me, I found nothing but air; there wasn't anyone in sight.

that was the second time it happened today.

I took the bus home reviewing the day's events: the rushing of essays, proposals, and all the other assignments, the two falls I took today, the late nights up just thinking about things and what could be and what should be and what could have been, the fights, the tension, the pressure, the curiosity, the pain.

I figured, at times like these, it was best to be alone since it concerned no one else but me.

I figured, at times like these, I'd be better off on my own so I could protect others from my demons.

I figured, at times like these, it would be better to cry it all out.

I figured, at times like these, I'd have to pray, and pray hard.

I figured, at times like these, there would be a light at the end of the dark tunnel.