what does it mean to be special to someone?

 

have been thinking quite a bit lately. have seen quite a lot too. and it just got me wondering... what makes someone special to another?

argh, kinda annoying when I think about such stuff  'cause well, the feelings all come into play and I just shove them all away again. it's not the best way to dispose of such feelings, but I'm learning, I'm trying. trying to get over it all and not be a silly little girl again.

and I'm fighting to get over it. fighting to stop it all, to stop damaging myself. but it's hard when you can't control these thoughts and feelings sometimes. but I'm trying. I really am.

 

special is such a special word.

I wonder what it'd feel like to be special to someone. in any way.

sometimes I sit near the front window and just look at the night sky and the trees and the streetlamps and the park across the road, and I wonder.

what is it like to be special to someone? what is it like for someone to be special to me? 

 

I'm tired. it's 2.16am and I'm tired for the day.

tomorrow's going to be better. I banking on it.

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