the time where "what if" thoughts are high in traffic. so many, it's tiring to have to deal with them all. the brouhaha and all the other little itty bitty details of life mixed together with fiction and fantasies and non-reality; a wonder yet also a burden. 

certain events narrowed things down to several strings of thought for myself. most are "what if" thoughts, but then again, there are others. pretty much all the time, I'd be waking up with such thoughts already in my head. one of them would be, "what if everything just ended today?" 

staying in bed for far too long periods these days. just waking up and lazing around and not doing anything in particular. 

I guess I just... don't want to take up anything at all. thinking about just going out makes me so... urgh. hahaha.