the week started off with the PCS Bonding Camp for the current Year 2s that are moving on to Year 3s in the coming semester. unfortunately had to admit that the games were, if not too aggressive, lacking in many aspects. the BBQ went well though. a last, rather sweet activity and then headed up to the apartments for the night. 

for me, it was one of the most enjoyable nights in the Loft. though didn't really achieve the goal of the Bonding Camp, but managed to clear some of my own feelings as I shared with Jesca and Hasinah in the apartment. talked to them about some issues that were bothering me for a pretty long time already and a good chat about certain things here and there. 

it came to a point whereby we'd just sat around randomly and ordered Macs and ate and talked more and played Monopoly Deal until we'd finally decided to sleep at 530AM. admittedly, it was pretty boring, with lots of pockets of silence among us at some points of time, but I'd enjoyed it nonetheless. 

that night, I'd decided that maybe, no, surely, I'd get nowhere simply staying in the ditch that I was in for the longest of times. my questions were answered, albeit rather negatively, but still, I'd felt that I'd somehow let go of something as we talked. I didn't think much of it, actually, but somehow realised that yes, Monday night's chat did help me, a lot. received several shocks on Monday as well, and realised that maybe I wasn't as invisible as I'd thought I was, and that people actually noticed even though they don't ask. 

a slightly strange thought, but I'd perhaps come to accept it somehow. I guess pretty much, sometimes people don't ask because they're afraid as well, or maybe they just didn't get a chance to, or maybe they... haha, it doesn't matter now, no, it doesn't. (: 

Tuesday morning brought a good breakfast at KFC with the girls as well. more talks, though not as thought-provoking as the night before's. dragged my aching body with all my camp bags back to school for the last meeting for the Laser Tag event held on Thursday afternoon. settled things productively, as well as dug up more information on the upcoming Instructor Camp.

rather exciting stuff, but somehow I'd felt that I didn't make the most of things on Tuesday. probably due to the fact that I was tired and aching from the day before and had the most little sleep I've had in a while. 

I'd woken up late on Wednesday morning, resulting in my skipping lunch with the class which was at 1215PM. arrived at Pasir Ris to meet the rest of T01 at White Sands around 2PM before leaving for the class chalet. 

though some were missing, but I had a great time there, nonetheless. it was a short duration, only 2 days and 1 night, but still. I'd enjoyed the company of the people that have been around me for 2 years already, yet I'd not bothered to even try to enjoy myself fully around them. a pity some of them couldn't stay, but those that stayed, I'd enjoyed time with. 

walking to the resort in the burning heat. searching for the bungalow, exploring it, and then trying to decide which rooms everyone should take before settling everyone into a single room only. playing random games like murderer and playing guitars and attempting to sing. running around the bungalow and hiding in closets and other bungalows and behind air-con vents for Seek & Hide. then packing into the room once again to camwhore. good times, despite the slight awkwardness and boredom in between. (: 

I'd left to meet the cell at 7PM then. decided if I was to stay and settle at this cell, this church, I'd have to make the effort to at least try to attend outings and get to know the people I'd be coming into contact with. hung out at the new mall at Expo MRT (Changi City Point), playing Scramble with Friends and also going up to the rooftop and getting amused at the automated toilet doors before some left earlier and we'd ended up at a McDonald's in Pasir Ris. felt, for the first time, a rather significant improvement in getting to know and getting more familiar with the guys in the cell. ^^ 

got back to the chalet around 1AM, and it was just then that everyone was deciding to go to the park to have a walk. the most bizarre walk I've ever had in the middle of the night, with several of us singing at the top of our lungs and sitting on the rocks by the beach and getting scared away by cockroaches and then having a good chat (once again!) with another classmate. (: 2AM showers, 3AM Truth-or-Dare, 5AM lazing around the living room and 630AM sleeps. it felt good. (: 

Today, Thursday, was one of the best days I've had in a while. 

I had a good McDonald's hotcake breakfast with hot tea with those who'd stayed over in the chalet. and then a small incident with myself, because of my own stupidity, but shocked me greatly as well. 

while I could have stayed on the train with everyone else and met a friend as well, I'd dumbly decided to walk out of the train at that station, and only realised that everyone else was on the train but me when the train left. true that I'd whined over the phone and mentally cursed myself for my own stupidity of losing time that could be spent with everyone else together, as I got on the next train and plugged in some music, I'd felt myself let go, as if somehow deciding that being alone once in a while... would be good. was pretty shocked to have company immediately at the next stop, but no, no hateful mental thoughts that disrupted my being. yet another improvement. ^^ 

headed to the Laser Tag event at Clementi then. really happy that everything went well and smoothly, and most importantly, everyone had fun at the game. despite being a little disappointed at the lack of interaction between both groups present, it was still a wonderful experience. 

just one afternoon, and I'd learnt yet another fraction more of what the world has to offer. so so precious, I can't even begin to describe it. (: 

ended up skipping dinner, yet again, but really, I guess I'm full with good experiences and once again renewed to tackle some new problems. (: