I didn't use to think so much to the point that it was too much.

 

I guess I've changed in such a way, of how I look at the different things in life and all that kinda stuff. it's hard to express things in type, but I guess verbally, I'd probably be able to express these feelings and changes I've felt in myself, in others, everywhere, much much clearer.

 

it takes certain people, certain things, certain events to induce such thoughts in myself. things get really strange and suffocating as I think about each new experience I go through. it takes me back to the days before Poly even started. and when I go back then, and imagine me right now in back then, I wonder how I could have managed things better, got to know myself even better.

 

at this point, I crave to find out more about myself. how real am I, what masks I put on, all that kind of stuff. it's amazing what the right people that you just... fit with, can bring out in you.

 

I never really fit in with the crowd back at the old school. so I guess it's really my time to shine now that I've found the right people that take me as I am. it doesn't hurt anymore, or rather, it doesn't hurt as much.

 

it still hurts, but just not as much.

 

the current states of things often make me wonder what it means when we do something. care, for example.

 

what does "care" mean to you? 

 

is it just a word? or is it an action? or is it something else? what do you do when you "care"? muahahaha, it just got me thinking all of a sudden. (:

 

now I'm thinking deep deep. it's painful going all the way down, but it's a learning journey at the end of the day.

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