a calming few days. I've come to thoroughly enjoyed the silence and peace I get staying at home over these two days. wouldn't say I'd rested physically, since I've been up till around 4, 5AM just studying or playing games (mostly playing games).

I'd put myself in the Yellow Room since my grandmother's not staying with us these few days. hence I get the bed, and the computers. I'd never noticed how calming the Yellow Room is. studying in it, and staying in it through the nights; it's surprising how the ticking of the clock didn't seem to affect me as well.

 

a sign of a turn of events?

maybe, just maybe. lots remain to be seen. I'd never intended to give up. I'd never intended to lose hope in all around. but I guess I did, at the end of the day. and when I did, I crashed.

I did try my best to fight. but it seems that my best just wasn't enough.

 

as we learn in Health Psychology, I guess. relying too much on social support in times of stress... hahahaha, you impose on others, monopolize their time & care. hence resulting in a sense of guilt upon yourself.

I took it too far. I should never have sought that much from others. I should never have sought that much from those whom I knew wouldn't be able to give, and finally end up where I am, more hurt than ever.

 

reflections deep into the night.

I'm glad I read your post that late at night. I can't thank you enough. that post brought me back to earth, let me know of the things right in front of me, but I never saw. that post brought me back to me, reminded me of what I was and what I forgot. so thank you, thank you for remembering. (:

 

this week is all that's left of the semester. after that, it's a whole new experience all over again.

but before that, I'll take a few to set some things straight. Friday would be a good start, so Friday it shall be. I'm glad that there are people out there to whack me. I place my hope and faith and thanks in them.

new semester, definitely new problems. by then, I'll be well. by then, I'll be ready.

 

and by then, I won't forget, I won't give up. I promise I won't.

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