I have to admit, the trip to HongKong was one of terribly mixed feelings. so mixed up, I can't decide on which feeling to feel, and what's available to take away. feeling like a blur now especially, with yesterday's fever to this morning's body aches from sleeping too much and the burning throat.

but one thing's for certain, I couldn't be more thankful and happy that I'm once again back home.

I'll be frank, I was feeling a mess during the last two days of the trip (day 5 & 6). everything seemed to be crashing down; the feelings, the tolerance, the things that irritated, everything. there was this emptiness, this black hole that isn't quite the same as the usual. that, in essence, just added more the my frustration and irritation. having my voice already cracking and breaking on Day 5, and eventually leading up to the pain in my throat upon waking up on Day 6 and the fever that developed on the plane home... that was simply the icing on the cake.

it was strange, though, the emotions that popped up during the trip. things I'd never felt before; and things I'd better not say yet. just that the things I saw just made me feel so... gahrejhgakjerhgkajhckjanerjgarghaor%&#@(*&!)$*, that isn't my usual gahrejghaekrghkhfewofh%^(#&%#@)&!). hence everything was strange.

I'd wanted to sort it out on the flight home, but ahhh... sleeping was of more importance since my throat was in hell (after which, during and after the flight, my entire body was). saw more things during the flight which completed the package and made me feel like hell in both body, mind and heart.

getting off the plane was a relief, and it made me realise how blessed I was. my head was spinning, there was so much to carry, and my body was on fire. but when I stepped out of the gate and saw the people waiting there, I'd just wanted to break down in tears and I'd held myself back by just a little.

Dad was waiting, and so was my Spamming Gang. gosh, I never realised I'd missed them and their twitter spams that much before. all that nonsense, haha. I was truly touched upon seeing their worried faces when they'd come to know how many of us fell sick on the trip, and that I was running a fever already. truly, I felt so thankful and I was reminded, for the very first time since I left the country, of who was waiting for me at home.

having been unable to connect to wifi in HongKong, I'd estranged myself from all internet activities and hence estranged myself from contacting anyone else at home. lonely, yeah, but at the same time not since there were still friends around. but yet... so close yet so far.

wahaha, left with Dad after saying minimal goodbyes and thanks to those who came, then went to pick Mum up after work and grab some porridge (which I didn't have much appetite to eat when I got home). didn't even bother to unpack upon arriving home, just showered, ate 1/4 bowl of porridge, texted some people, popped some pills and went to sleep. for a total of 13 hours. my longest sleep yet. RECORD.

but still, I woke up with a neck-ache, and some body aches. dying to pop some bones & muscles. arghhhhhhh.